All by myself!!

Well I don't even recall the last time I updated this thing. I don't know, i just kind of have to get into the mood to write and to be honest i'm still not in the mood to write but I figured why the heck not.

Basically a lot has changed. I moved out on my own on May 1st and I am LOVING not living with my parents anymore. There's something about being independant that is far to exciting even though it's a tad terrifiying at the same time... and yet the exciting out weighs the terrifying. Yes I have bills to pay, and I have to feed and take care of myself, but I'm loving every moment of it. Sometimes it feels like vacation, like any minute I'm going to have to go home and live with my parents again.. and i hope that doesn't happen. I don't think after living on my own I could go back to living with my parents again.

My friend from Heather is planning on being my roommate which is awesome because 1) I can see us getting along and her helping me stay positive and happy..2) financial break! only pay half the rent! Things are looking up in that department.
Like I siad I'm not really in the mood to type.
All I'm gonna leave you with is...
Erin, Josh and Becky are all leaving winnipeg and that makes me sad.
Robbie has his baby and that makes me happy.
The new school year is going to be interesting.
I'm going to camp ass for 2 weeks and that excites me.
I am now 21, and Don't feel any different.
I'm bored out of my mind.

Just because I suck at blogging

To be honest I'm not really in the mood to blog right now but I figure I've got to give some sort of update as too how things are going.
I'm all moved in and absolutely loving living on me own. Money is super tight right now but I think I can handle it. Its only for a few months anyways.
I got my confirmation that I will be indeed be working at camp assinaboia for two weeks and I'm SUPER excited about that. I love the kitchen.
Things are good.

Sunday is a coming...

Things have been going well. As always it's been a long time since I last posted and as always alot as happened.
When Sam died I decided that I had to move out soon and made a goal to save enough money for September to move out. I also heard that a girl from Saskatchewan that I know from camp and retreats and all that joy was planning on moving here and had no idea where she was going to stay. This seemed like the perfect opportunity for both of us to get what we needed. I needed a roommate and she needed a place to live. So we talked and she seems pretty psyched on the idea.
Things progressed, soon I had everything I needed, kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, furniture and was on waiting lists for a few places I wanted to live. Then I got a message from a woman in my church who owns an apartment building and has an opening for May first. I went with my parents to look at the place and I decided to jump on it. So in May I will be moving into my very own place. I'm sooo excited. It's a 2 bedroom for only 685 and it's a really big size. I'm going to live there on my own until my friend comes here, which it's looking like she may come late august now instead. I'm just soo excited and hoping that it all works out.
Summer shut down is coming up and I decided I'm going to apply with camps with meaning and see if I can work at Camp Assinaboia for the two weeks because I miss it SO much. I figure I can't go to staff training and I don't really want to counsel so this is my opportunity to serve God in my own way. Plus everyone will be gone for the missions trip and so it's great timing.
Other than that work is good and life is all together good. I am so thankful to God for what he is doing and I'm praying everything keeps working out.

Be more clear!

So I hung out with one of my friends from high school, and of course it was the one that I had the crush on. So anyways I asked him to go to my brother's show with me and my other brother. Then after we went to tim horton's until about 2 oclock in the morning.
So basically, thing that happened:
-he got out of the car when he picked me up to hug me
-held every door open for me
and payed for the tims
so now after that I'm wondering if it was a date and i'm thinking a screwed it up.
I hate over thinking.

burnout memories

I just finished watching my new favorite show. I don't even know how i discovered it but suddenly its like my new favorite show. It's called freaks and geeks and its deffinitely one of those shows that got cancelled but shouldn't have because it's AMAZING. The stories basically revolves around two groups of people the geeks: Sam, Bill and Neal and the freaks: Lindsay, Ken, Nick, Daniel and Kim. Lindsay is Sam's older sister and she was queen of the mathletes and part of, i guess, geekier group until her grandmother died and she decided she needed to find something different. She kind of difted from her Christian friend Millie and the other brains and started to hang out with the burnouts.
The relationships in this group are just dazzling it me, well not dazzling but the friendships are just so unconditional. One minute they're in a fight about a compeltely logical thing and then they forget about it because it's just not worth it to them.
Basically this reminds me of my grade 12 year. I left my normal crowd, or they left me, I'm still not completely sure on that one, and I started hanging out with a group of friends that was quite different. I'm not syaing they were burnouts.... well i'm sure they did do drugs but they welcomed me with open arms for no apparent reason. They let me eat with them and talk to them and hang out with them at spare.They were genuinely kind to me.
So tonight after I finished the last episode of the season I started thinking about these people were were so kind to me. I went looking through my year books and my grad pictures and not nostalgic
So basically this is me saying I miss them alot and hope I can see or talk to them soon!

25 random things

1. I sometimes sing to myself when i'm in the dark so i'm not afraid

2. I almost always prefere to watch the movie apposed to reading the book...the one exception is twilight

3. Even though i probably will see the movie i will beg you to tell me what happens because I want to know what to expect

4. I often don't like people in my bubble. it takes a very long time between when i meet you to when i'll hug you. I barely like sitting on the couch next to my eldest brother.

5. the only harry potter book i read was number 7, i watched movies 1-5 and spark notesed number 6

6. i despise people who think they're better than everyone else, ex: pretty boy, he's a guy that works for extreme dream ministries and when he looks at you he makes you feel inadequate to feel alive

7. I pretend to not think my dad's jokes are funny but sometimes they're so ridiculous that they're halerious and i can't help but laugh

8. I haven't played soccer in 12 years and i'm terrible at it, but i'm still playing.

9. I don't have a specific favorite movie..when ever I see a new one it becomes my favorite...that goes for books as well

10. sometimes I slow down just before a yellow light then bolt through just so the person behind me can't go too, i've also raced a guy who was in the merger lane, i dind't let him in...he had to slow down.. i won!

11. I pretend to know that i have it all figured out... really i don't

12. If i could afford it i would tatto my entire legs and arms, i'm currently trying to think of ideas for sleeves

13. I sometimes think i'm going to die the old lady with the cats.. only i hate cats so it will either be dogs or ferrets

14. if i'm sleeping at home...expecially alone, i have to sleep with my tv on.

15. I am a closet case of ocd. i like things a certain way and if its not like that my heart crushes

16. I take insulting jokes really personally, its because of years of being bullied

17. when i'm over tired I'm halerious... atleast i think so

18. If it wasn't frowned apon to pick your nose, i would do it, because sometimes there's an itch and you need to pick it...i'm also unashamed of picking wedgies...espcially at soccer

19. I cheer everytime I see the gas price go down

20.i have been told that i walk funny but apparently look good doing it

21. about 100 americans think i'm related to robert goulet

22. I miss playing hockey with all of my being

23. I suck at wrapping presents, especially when it comes to corners.

24. I can go entire week without showering before I even begin to get greasy, at no point do i smell bad in that time frame.. i want to see how long i can go without washing my hair and see if that thing about your hair washing it's self is actually true.

25. i enjoy the smell of sharpies and ddry erase markers, they're right above paint in my top ten favorite smells

Hold on...

So things have deffinitely gotten better since the last time I posted. I don't even know how though. It's like somehow I snapped out of this state. I mean every now and then I have my days where I just don't want to go to work or anywhere else, but that happened even before. So I don't know how but I just held on for the life of me.
I kept going to youth and Selah and kept crying out to feel better. I lost my anger and now there's just a smidge of sadness, which is better in my mind.
I don't know all I can say is that when times are tough hold on.
Being angry is far too tiring.