the new and exciting in the life of lauren

so i don't even know how long it's been since i've actually written in here. I don't plan on going back and actually looking. I don't even really care because i'm sure I was a completely different person when I wrote that stuff. unsure of myself and all that. Things have changed. I've changed. I know me. I know i'm happy with me, and I know that i don't believe in the same stuff and I'm happy about that, cus that stuff doesn't make any sense in my head. So the store inspection at petland went well (dean came july 5) i did really well. Dean complimented me on the floor pens and he also told natalie that was the best he's ever actually seen the kennels look. Yay me. The next week the managers, mike, lori and nat, had a meeting. In the meeting they talked about my promotion to head kennel tech. Lori still hasn't talked to me and gave it to me yet, but atlead i know it's coming. Tomorrow I work from 9-5:30, after that there's a potluck at Lori's, pool party that is. It'll be lots of fun, i hope.Also big news. So i was supposed to go visit robbie july 1-7 but i decided to stay and work on getting my promotion. So now i know i'm getting it so we have it planned and it's for certain that i am now going to visit august 1-8. That's in 10 days! oh i'm so excited.I leave the 1st at 7:30am. I arrive in minneapolis at about 10:51 where i connect flights and get on a plane to indianapolis. I arrive at 12:46. Oh my gosh I can't wait. i know this next week is going to go by so slow. then again maybe not. I work alot next week, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and sunday. So hopefully it'll go by super fast, but like i said i doubt it. I'm too excited. Although i'm super nervous because i've never flown before, and i'm going alone! it'll be great though. I haven't seen him in 2 years and oh my gosh, I miss him. I can't wait to meet everyone down there. Kristen seems nice, marty, oh my. And i get to see nick again. ooooooof. I'm gettign giddy writing about it right now. anyways other than that there's nothing really new. I don't expect to update anytime until i get back. But when i do expect a HUGE post.

Things are perfect just as they are

my week and then some

so grad was last week. it was good acctually.i mean i'm super glad mike came with cus his drunkeness was too funny. and i think i woulda been miserable if he wouldn't have been there. thursday was commencement, i think it was probably the longest day of my life. I wanted to shoot myself. Hpwever on the ride home i called into the radio, played rapid fire and qualified to win a meet and greet with dashboard... holy shit would that be amazing. Then i went and bought a cell phone. Thats right, ask my for the number and we can be buddies. haha. Then after i came home connie and mom took me to the casino where i lost 5 dollars. it was a grand old time. I gotta say being 18 doesn't feel any different. Apparently i give the vibe to people that i hate them... it's kinda sad. on the other hand, there are some people i am fairly p-oed with right now for reasons. oh well I didnt get into it on my myspace journal but i will here. just cus i feel more able to vent on this page. i like it. I'm very sick of holding on to relationships and trying to be someone's friend when clearly it is pointless and my efforts are merely futile. Things are different and people have made it clear that because some things are different everything has to be different. we can't be friends. and still i keep trying. going to see certain people off at airports. when really it doesn't matter to them at all. then also going to meet them when they come back. sorry but that did absolutely nothing- except ended up allowing me to get pulled over because i pulled a red like (i got a warning) again we go back to NOT talking. and NOT being friends. there are so many words i'd like to say. Like how -if a certain incident that took place at a friend's house, took place now the same thing would not have happened. infact i could say this person being involved in what happened. I can see myself not being told what i had the right to know. And as much as yes it bothers me, and i'd love to go off on them, even though i know i'll never have my chance. I thinkall it does is prove my point. And I ope every last one of them realizes that 1) we're all going to the same place. Whether it be hell because i don't beleive in jesus and they're hiprocrates, or no where cus no such thing exists. 2) that they really are a cult. I'm sorry but it truely is an organized religion. no matter what way i try to look at it my mind keeps going back to how people organized this religion, andd people say that the book (bible) was inspired by god, i can't believe it. because man wrote it. they wanted people to believe what they said, and they got exactly what they wanted. They left stuff out and now because "the truth" has been around forever there's no possible way that anything else could have happened. I also despise how people try to quote bible versus to try and get me to believe. i'm sorry but don't even start. I used to believe it and i consider myself bible savey, i've read it. i know what it says, and i don't care. just because you chose to believe it, please don't force me to listen to your dribble. I have cleary shown that i don't give a shit. so back off. people don't care about other people. as much as they say they wannt to reach out, they don't they stick to their own group of fellow believers. and then if one leaves. they're out. it's like an amish colony or something. shunned if you're different, or rather have different believes. I can't stand it anymore. I've had enough. I'm done trying