i enjoy fire

Lesson learned, don't have a fire near lots of drunks.. haha no, no one fell in but the whole night i was constantly making sure that he wobbly drunks weren't going to fall into the fire.Friday night I worked. It wasn't too bad. I finished everything ontime, as always. Then i went to get some food at mdicks on henderson, and then home to sleep.

Saturday morning I slept in and then went to work at three. It was a really slow night because me and allison were just waiting to get the heck out of there so we could go party it up at mikes house. So Brady showed up at the store and we made plans to get to the party. So he went home, and at 930 me and allison went to her place so she could change, then to pick up brady, to the LC and then finally to mikes house where a bunch of petlanders were. Most people were drinking or massively drunk. I was constantly watching everyone to make sure no one fell in the fire or anything, their wobblyness was amusing. Then since the clocks turned back we got an extra hour of Partying. WOOT i was technically home at like 2, but since the clocks turned back it was only 1. haha i like it.I drove allison home then brady home. oh wow. Good night.

This morning i opened at work, holy crap was i tired. So it was a good weekend. Now i'm pretty much brain dead and tired.Tomrorow I work again. It shall be good. We'll see what this weekend has ensue.

how can this be?

Yeha I've think I've completely given up. Tonight ahs just been a rollercoast and i don't care about it anymore. I don't think I trust a single person on this earth, and why should I with all the crap people feed you why should you trust anyone... we talked about it in world issues and really... even though we didn't really discuss it.... violence and evil is a part of us, no matter how hard anyone ever tries it's always going to be there. thats' hy the world won't get better until the end of it. at least in my opinion. People's nastyness is part ofwhat i think made me give up on God.. not the whole part, its not fair to blame my crappy relationship or lack there of, with God, on someone else.. it's really been a long time coming. i mean i don't know how to explain where i stand. i mean there's no way i could not believe in something, i just don't have a relationship with that something and ihave lost the fire to gain it back. So i don't know maybe i haven't given up on God rather than given up on having a relationship with him.I was expecting to feel more empty than this? maybe i just can't feel it yet. who knows.
If you don't believe in hell do you not go there? That was brought up when someone told a person in my class they were going to hell because theydidn't believe in God.. someone said " how can she go there if she doesn't believe in it"... so my question is if someone murders a person and doens't think it's wrong does that make it not wrong... no...so am i going to hell now? what's going on in my life?whats going to happen to me in the future? in eternity? these questions and more will be answered depending on some things.. i sent josh an email saying what was going on... well not really.. i don't expect him to email me back i even said he didn't have to if he didn't want to.... i don't know what will happen now later

Can't Wait

This week I was originally only schedualed friday, saturday sunday, but alas jamie gave me his monday shift and tuesday rita can't work so mike is taking her morning and i'm taking the night. So i'm getting the hours that i really need. WHOOT. I can't wait until saturday night. it's going to be SO much fun. Since mike got promoted he's having all of us petlanders over for a super fun bon fire.. yeah it sounds really stupid but everyone's probably going to be mega drunk again which will be mega funny. I don't even mind that i work sasturday night, it'll be worth the fun, it just sucks i gotta open on the sunday.
Yesturday (sunday) was really fun. After work we had a seminar and then bowling. But inbetween the seminar and bowling part we got to playt hide and go seek. It sounds really lame but playing in petland is REALLY fun.So we were all hiding and me and rita had the genious idea to go hide in the shelter cats kennels. So we turned on the light to make sure that there was no crap or pee anywhere, then got into the kennels with the cats. I with kita, rita with tammy. so we got in shut the doors when i realized "hey there's no latches on the inside.." as in we were stuck in the kennels. It was terrifying, I almost died, I couldn't get be in there that long. So we just started screaming our heads off. So we keep screaming and then finally brady came and let us out... haha we almost died laughing.
speaking of brady, i feel really bad because i was kinda a jerk to him yesturday. I feel i should apologize. I think I will tomorrow, see how that goes... oh well this week will be a good one.I can't wait til saturday!

wow

Well yesturday was an interesting day. I talked it over with Natalie and since i didn't have school i instead started work at 1 and worked until 930.

I then high tailed it to the church to meet up with my pals and hang out by going to the wachals. So i got to the church and caitlin dind't have any room so Becky, me and andrea had to then take my car.So we're driving down henderson, and we see a deer so i start to break, then on the side of the road (passenger side, they were crossing to the other side) i see another one it looks at the car, sees it then decides to cross the street. I slam on the breaks as fast as i can but it bolts right infront of me and BAM i hit it I pretty much it it right dead on with the car,as in right i nthe center of the hood. he then rollsover the hood and away. Becky, andrea and i screaming perfusely.

I then call my father freaking out that i just hit a freaking dear. Andrea and becky then go out of the car and look in the ditch. I then hear them screaming, and all i think is " oh my gosh it got up and is chasing them." it wasn't but thats okay. so my parents then come and my dad takes the car and my mom drives us to the wachals and i little ways up from where I hit my deer, there's a dead one on the road... so either someone else it a deer as well (which owuld make me feel wonderful cus then i wouldn't be the only one) or the one i hit got up, wondered over there and then died from injuries sustained in my collision.

anyways i don't feel muchlike driving for awhile but my dad says i have to "get back on the horse". I also have to make a police report. Bah humbug

You Know...

You Know you've lost almost all your faith when:
you don't sing in worship and your biggest concern at worship is the powerpoint presentation
you don't give a crap about whats being said in small groups or during the sermon for that matter
you write blah blah blah on your hand during prayer

Yeah that was my night,and again, i'm not sure what to think about it, i'm not even really sure if i care so much about it right now. It sounds horrible and Andrea (i love you my dearest mandron) brings upthe point that really it's not much different than Rae anne,and well i don't know what to say about that. Besides we'll see what happens. Maybe i just need God to back me into a corner again. I don't know I really have changed a bit.... scratch that, alot, i don't have sympathy for stupid people, and iconsider alot of people stupid,therefore, i don't have sympathy for many ppeople...aren't I an awesome person. oh well

I'm really not sure what else to right, i really don't have much to say on the stupid as of now.

crazy

Things are weird and changing. I'm not sure what to think about it. I really don't like change and the idea of getting older. It's strange to me. It doesn't feel like 3 years ago we left grade 9, it feels like 1. But at the same time so many things have happened that it feels like AGES ago.
It's really hard to believe that I was baptised two years ago. it's pretty crazy to believe.

On friday I applied to university and It's really crazy to think that next year it's completely independant... even though i'll probably have a year off from school, it's gonna be one step closer to having a career, one step towards being... older. Things are REALLY different from last year. like crazily different and i'm not really sure what i think about that right now.. wowo did i write this in another update....oh well.... i'm around different people.
things at work are weird right now. I don't how to describe it, i'm not happy with it. I feel kinda depressed about a bunch of stuff going on there. Hopefully we'll have fun on sunday and things will be back to normal.
On a side note, pee and poop, fart, and burping humor doesn't get old no matter how you are.
Another thing i notice is how much people put other people down on purpose either to make themselves feel better OR just for the hell of it... it's really weird well actually it's kinda just pathetic

anyways i don't know what else to write

have a good night

Pictures

Here's some pictures from the social
Hahah that's everyone before the drunkess. Mike, me, tara,Allison, jess, natasha,tyler,Caitlin and laura

That's us dancing. haha fun

this is us after the whole thing chilling on the couch

mike re-doing up his belt.. haha don't ask
yeahit was a good night I don't have an update. keep it real

Maybe I'm amazed

Maybe I'm Amazed at the way You love me all the time, Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way You pull me out of time, You hung me on the line. Maybe i'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a girl, Maybe I'm a lonely girl, Who's in the middle of something That she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl And maybe you're the only man Who could ever help me Baby won't you help me to understand?

Maybe I'm a girl, Maybe I'm a lonely girl, Who's in the middle of something That she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl And maybe you're the only man Who could ever help me Baby won't you help me to understand?

Maybe I'm amazed at the way You're with me all the time, Maybe I'm afraid of the way i need you

Maybe i'm amazed at the way You help me sing this song, Right me when I'm wrong. Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

california here we come

Well tonight was work. I wore my new scrubs which are mighty kool. At like 430 mikecalled and told me that He's now the head tech! I'm SO happy for him. He deserves it and he has good plans for the kennel. He came in later on in the night and hung out. He's a work aholic but a good guy.

He stuck around long enough for me to take my break at 7 and me and hi and brady went to subway to get me and caitlin some subs. It was delicious and just what I needed. I got every thing done quite early and mananged to make the kennel room look beautiful. Well hopefully mike notices, I even took down the shavings for him.

So i left and on my way out i gave him... not mike.. a different him my phone number.. I could hardly believe it myself. I told him that if he actually wansts to do something ( we made kinda plans since everyone else from work was going to the bar) he could call me friday before 6. I wonder if he actually will... i doubt it Nicole told me he made some comment " this number has got to be for someone else" I have no idea what that means... i'm kinda worried. oh well atleast i took a step which is more than i usually do.

Tonight is Selah

I'm tired

Goodnight

more fun

Today I woke up at noon and decided I'd go over to good old work a visit some of the people there, you know, natasha, Brady, the people I talk to most. Soyeah I went in. And of course she was in a bad mood. And just in time Mike came in. wowo i wish i had a magical jet pack to get out of that awkward conversation. Then me and mike decided to head over to the fish department and hang out with brady. That didn't go far cus he went on his break.
Then mike asked me if i wanted to go to walmart where we bought some birthday cards and new scrubs. It was a good day. Mikes a cool guy.

Tomorrow night I work again. Maybe I'll slip him... not mike.. a different him my phone number and ask if he wants to do something on friday. I'll just kinda say here's my number if you wanna do something call kinda thing. We'll see what goes down.
Anyways that was my day. i updated 2 times in one day. I'm kool i know

P-unit Party

Well saturday night was a whole lot of fun. We got to the social and we thought it was going to be a complete bore because we were almost the only ones our age there. So we kinda sat at the table and thought "wow what a waseof a night" but then tyler got off duty at the table and he was drinking two drinks at a time at first. Mike also drank a bunch, and caitlin, and tara drank a bit..... well everyone drank but me. so it was really funny to watch all of them in their drunkeness.
So the night kept on going with us dancing and just keeping the party going. we literally stayed until the end even though everyone else had cleared out. Last song was slow. we still danced. Then we went in the lounge and hung out for a few minutes until we decided it was time to leave.
I then drove Natasha, Jess, and Tyler and allison home. It was quite fun singing since you've been gone at the top of our lungs while driving down springfield. Then attempting to sing bohemian raphsody with no help from radio... it went no where.
I then dropped them all off and was home by 230
I woke up the next morning to open at work at 8
Tyler was closing and he looked completely hung over.
All and All it was a halerious night

good conversation

Last night was good. I managed to have a really good conversation with andrea about stuff and my problems and youth and stuff. It made me feel a little better because she understood what i meant. Yay Andrea I love you! After I talked to her I went into work and found that Rita had written me a note back apologizing for tlaking about me. BUT it did in away still say i was wrong about the bird unit... hmm interesting.
ONLY a few days til the social. I tried on my outfit yesturday and i'm not sur ehat im gonna wear, the skirt and shit i chose seem to fancy, we'll see what happens.
I love jack johnson, coldplay and dashboard. wow
tonight is synrgy. I'm singing, this year i'm actually going to sing.woot.

The joy of hipocracy

I suddenly feel incredibly pissed, not really so much and anyone, well actually I am quite sure that I'm pissed off at Rita from work. Wow she's a douche. I got to work last night and there's mail boxes on the door in the kennel, each kennel tech had one with their name on it, mine was oon the bottom, and mike tells me that Rita made them so we could communicate better and not get people involved that don't need to be , creating some huge problem. So she makes them, whatever, but then she starts complaining about some of my work in the kennel. Anyone else seeing something incredibly stupid about that? Anyone at all? So i wrote her a little note, politely (despite my rage) saying that if she dissagrees with how i do certain things, to just tell me, Crap all night i went on giant rants. For this part of the story you'll need a little background.


A man in our city made a giant 40 foot cross in his backyard and then he wrote letters to all his neighbors telling them that they should come pray at his cross or they'd all go to hell or something like that. That is what you call an overly religious person. And natasha from work stated how she hates overly religious people. So Jessica Jokingly wrote on the whoteboard "Natasha-' I hate religious people and snowboots.'" Well Rita took an ape and completely freaked out and said she's offended because she's "religious."Well I thought about that and her claim to be "religious", which bythe way i have never heard her talk about anything to do with God, and i thought about the fact that she ws talking behind me behind my back. Again I ask, does anyone else see something wrong in that? Oh the joys of hipocracy! I'm not saying I'm not one, but i don't claim to be perfect either. It just bothers me sometime you know. I'm just annoyed that's all. Tonight I'm going in to see if she had anything else to say about anything. That is all.G'night

corn maze of fun!

Well Last night was SOOO mega fun.First I qorked all day which wasn't bad. I got my hours. I'm working monday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday. Woot for crying tothe manager. Haha. yay money. Anyways yeah so i have lots of hours, if it keeps up there'll be no reason for me to leave my lovely petland.
So anyways after work we all headed on out to the corn maze. First we went t the petting zoo, haha yeah us petlanders sure to love animals. And then raced tothe giant hay bails. it was then that i realized that i am extremely out of shape. We got a nice picture of all of us up there and we had fun. Next we played the scavenger hunt and just ran around in the corn maze. my team consisting of christine, her baby, her husband, brent, jamie, tyler (the new guy) me and caitlin won by finding all the fish and being the first ones out. boy how we rule.We also ran into mike's team where we knocked me intothe corn then fell over as well. it was great fun
Then the wholelot of us sat around the camp fire talking and roasting marshmallows. Oh deliciousness.Then we went home. Me, mike and natasha, brady and allison all stuck arnd i nthe parking lot and talked for like another hour ( we're always doing that it seems) It was jsut allarond a great night.Now i'm really looking forward to next saturday night for the social, we're going to have so much fun.