So is it cliche to name a particular post after the name of you're entire blog? I hope not because the title suits this particular post very well... atleast what i have planned for it in my head.
So I've been reading all my past posts and I have to tell you that, if I had a time machine, I would god back and punch myself in the face.
I can't believe how bitter and angry and how easy I gave up on things. I didn't have answers to questions, so according to past me God can't exist, that because people don't keep in touch that things are horrible and I should hate them for it. All ridiculous things that I wish I never wrote.
Now when I think about things I realize that friendship is a two party action. I know that God does not always provide answers as to why some things are certain ways, but at the same time I know that he is good and that one day I will have the answers that I was always looking for, I probably won't care because I'll be far too happy in heaven.. but I will be knowing. I have utter confident that my God loves me and his spirit is a part of me. No matter how tried to get away back then, my faith was always a part of me, no matter what happens, once you have God he will keep knocking at your door. He never let go of me, I tried to let go off him, but he held on with a pinky and once the momentum was ready, he scooped me back, and I cannot be more thankful.
Even though I am so very dissapointed at the way I treated others and tried to abandon him, I am however thankful that I can use that experience to witness and show people that we're not perfect that we are human and we do stumble.
I am very excited for things are explicit truth right now. I really think God will use our leadership and our students to do big things. And I'm even more excited that in our leaders meeting we acknowledged the fact that we shouldn't be put on a pedastile and that we should be truthful and honest and show them that we have struggles and that we're working on our faith just as much as they are working on theirs, and that makes me even happier because I don't want to pretend I'm perfect nor do I want the kids to think that I am.
I was even able to share a story of my grade 10 horrible year with a girl. Even being able to use something like that to minister is just amazing. God is Good all the time. and All the time God is good!
Tomorrow is week 2 of practicum... we'll see how that goes.
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