I'm just inthe worst moods right now and I'm not liking it. So beware if you don't like pity parties don't read on because this is pretty much gonna be a " woa is me" entry.
This week I have felt so left out amoung my friends.
Don't get me wrong, last night at synrgy was amazing. It was really a night of healing for our youth group. I managed to fix many relationships with people and It made me feel really great.
But returning to school the next day just felt incredibly left out.
All this week I have. I reallydon't like that feeling.
During Yc they had this big surprise party for meghan and kayla, and really I'd love one of those, but I know I'd never get one from my friends, and it kinda hurts. This is so pathetic, oh my goodness shoot me now. ( this is in no way telling anyone to throw a suprise party because no one from youth/ school has the link to this blog and do not read it) but anyways. I don't feel loved right now and instead any feeling of love that I should feel right now is being covered with a major feeling of envy, sadness, depression, hurt, and being lost. I shouldn't feel that way though, because deep down I know my friends love me right? Wait.... I don't really feel that right now... And it makes me so scared because I don't feel like I have anyone to rely on. I really need to be praying about this I guess.
I thought last night had answered my question about whether or not to return to youth next year, and it did answer somethings but this feeling of loneliness really does not help the situation.
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