yay

so i went into work to get my hours. So many, it's great. i work tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday. that's only one extra day but still it seems like quite a bit.
we're going to sponser a christmas cheer board family as a store.e which is really awesome in my mind. we're doing somethingreally good, we wanna get a family with lots of little kids, alteast a few that is. we're going to do the shopping our selves and everything. I'm really excited. It costs each person 20$. I'm going to go drop the money off tomorrow i think. i'm not gonna stick around long, just gonna drop it off.
I watched desperate housewives tonight and it brought up a very interesting point.... why do we choose to classify someone as just truely evil and truly good? is it because we can't accept that evil and good can live in the same heart. I think it's kinda an interesting point. i don't really know what to say about it though... so i'm just going to leave it at that.

allo?hallo?

testing, can anyone hear me? no alright, i dunno sometimesi feel like i'm in a room full of people, and i'm not noticed. Likeif i were in the mall hunt as a sponser, no one would take the time to try and find me. or maybe i am noticed but not for the good things...
my letter to my friend about stuff obviously did nothing. should I really be surprised...nah?
anyways, today i worked at 6:30 i was there by 5:45 though, I wanted a head start.boy gosh i did need it, I got really behind, so many things at once kept going so it made me fall behind. When i got home at 3 i slept until like almost 8. It was wonderful.
tomorrow i have the day off. wooooot. i'm going in though to get my hours and shiet. good times,i gotta find me some bubble wrap... anyone know where i can find me some? i must get some, not for the pleasure of popping the bubbles but for other, i have so much to do with such little time. wow

driving

So i got home from school last night and I felt really bad cus mike asked me to switch shifts, his tomorrow opening for my sunday opening. I said no but ifelt bad because he really wanted to go out tonight, so I called him when i got home and we switched. He'd do that for me.
So then i went and picked up the key and then back home for half an hour until I drove myself to polopark. I felt like i could not go on the bus, not today, maybe not ever again. Horrid horrid bus...so i had fun doing u-turns due to missing st james street, swearing at yelling at people that don't know how to work a 4 way stop and listening to the backstreet boys.
I shopped for almost half an hour before everyone else got there. I got robbie his sweet christmas present, I won't dare way what it is one here, but I will say that I think he'll like it... i hope he does. I also bought Dallas Green's (city and colour) sometimes cd, tegan and sarah and my chemical romance. I also got an awesome shirt from american eagle that says "kindness can change the world" it's nice.
I then went back to the church, and continued to listen to the backstreet boys. When i got back to the church i hung out with alana and michelle, I miss my little gurlies, i haven't seen them in what seems like such a long time. It made me happy.
That's pretty much all for now. It's 11:00, i get up in 6 hours.. weeeee fun

roll eyes

yes tonight was selah. I did powerpoint, i don't even know why i'm still doing it but i am. Once again erin came and talked to my in a giant awkward conversation. that was fun. who knows what's going on there, whatever. either one 1) she thinks I'm depressed or 2) becky seems to think that erin thinks I'm mad at her? It's not like It alked to her i nthe first place? why make things awkward now?
Josh gave this big speil about serving and all i could do was try to tune him out. Talking about not just erving people financially and all that jazz but by talking to people and helping them through stuff, but where was his reply when i emailed him? hmm wasn't " i've given up on God" one last try at getting help for my relationship with God? how much clearer can I get, and yet no reply. "The person I baptised don't have a relationship with God anymore eeeyuck I'm not gonna do anything about it or talk to her, or even respond." YAY!!!!!
as for my church friends I really don't understand it. I'm getting really frustrated. Caitlin said she wished I was around more that night when I called her at the wachals like I am the reason our friendship isn't the way it was, like her coming to eat lunch with me once every 2 weeks is going to make it better Bullshit. and talking to other people is just non existant. Is it me? I don't know. I don't feel the same around them anymore? Is it because they're all gung hoe, keener Christians? Who knows. I don't know what to think anymore

booooo!

Today at work was fun. I worked my ass off. Then came home to watch my least favorite episode of degrassi next generation EVER!! erg it made me mad "we'll find jesus together" way to go degrassi. WAY TO GO!
Okay I'm sorry but when my favorite show ever is over turned with Jesus and all that It makes me angry. I'm sorry but I don't need to be surrounded with all this christian... agh!... i can't escape it! I'm sorry DEGRASSI IS NOT CHRISTIAN NOR SHOULD IT BE! I don't like it. The worst part about it is that it's SOOOOO corny. I mean oh my gosh.. " all you need is to believe"...." i think you're worth it...jesus thinks you're worth it" oh my gosh it made me soo annoyed.
My personal favorite part was when spinner's friend told spinner's girlfriend that spinner was gonna leave her if she didn't do it with him... so she took her shirt off to expose her bathing suit... at which point he started kissing her shoulders....and she started to cry!!! I just can't even put my annoyance into words.. SHAME DEGRASSI SHAME!!!

"now everyone shake their fist"

monday night was this INCREDIBLE snow storm that gave us a whole lot of snow. like to our knees worth. It's crazy. So tuesday most people were snowed in and it was an non official yet official, cus no one went to school, snow day. I spent my day watching old school degrassi and then later on when my father returned home our family was outside mmoving cars and digging snow away. It was crazy times.

Today seemed like a pointless day of school, busses still weren't running so no kids from east st paul were really there. Oh poop on them. Ididn't wanna be there either. Then when school ended I went searching for my mother and ended up going on an adventure.... now my lungs hurt from breathing in the cold air.
Tonight allison got called into work so our shopping fun is postponed. Dang you petland!!!*shakes fist* so i'm forced to go to youth, which i really don't wanna do but it'll seem weird to my parents and i don't feel like explaining everythng to them about how i feel about God and stuff. Waste of time... so allas i am going and our shopping trip is postponed until i believe friday night.
Then saturday morning I open and hurrah for crazy early mornings is all i have to say. Then once again i open sunday, but this time with mike. That'll be crazy good times. me and him had fun on monday when i got to work with him.
And agian i say I can't wait until sunday. Christmas party is going to be mega fun! I can't wait!!!!

Pain!!!

Well today was another day of work and i am so completely tired, normally i'm not this tired at all. But saturday night lori came in and told me that since we open later on sundays someone has to take the little brown puppy home, soi was the one to do so, completely missing becky's birthday party which i really wanted to go to. I got very little sleep because of the horrid matress that i'm forced to sleep on downstairs. Bwah to that. It severally is uncormfortable and i think it's giving me back problems.
But oh wait maybe i'm wrong
Today i open, and since we must squeegee the water from outta the kennels some where, we must put it on the ground making it INCREDIBLY slippery. So i refrained from falling for most of my shift, but then right when the store was about to open bam i slip and fall. causing me great amounts of back pain and pain in general.i laid htere for 5 minutes almost in tears. it really hurt. my back is still in pain.
Once again i have the puppy since no one is at the store for 12 hrs. it's currently sleeping while i'm typing. I'll take her back at 1 when i work once again.
I CAN'T wait til wednesday petland girls are going shopping
I also can't wait for the christmas party which is now in 6 days. it shall be fun oh yes it shall be fun.

On a side note: I'm sick of people saying they're available to me, if i wanted to talk to you about something i would. I emailed someone but nothing came of it, no talking to that person, no that person even acknowledging that i emailed them, so i'm sick of caring and trying.

That was fun

Tonight was interesting, I was feeling rather bitchy not in the grumpy agree way in the way of i'm feeling really emotional and like i could cry. I really didn't like the idea of singing some mighty praise to God when I don't even really feel like he's here. So then after practicing for five minutes erin stops everyone and tells me i shouldn't sing that certain part because I sound off.

Okay wrong timing... so we continued to sing and I just couldn't do it. I just put the microphone down and walked out.went to the washroom and stayed there for awhle. Then when i came back erin demanded i talk to her.. i just kept up my " it's nothing" attitude and told her thats what it was, cus really thats what it was.. nothing to do with her. I just figured that if i'm not exactly right with God I probably shouldn't be helping lead people in worshipping him. so needless to say.. i didn't sing ...that's all.
So anyways I really don't know. I'm sick of people and if she thinks i'm pissed I really don'tcare to fix it. I'm really sick of people thinking that things center around them. I already didn't want to sing, and yes that did push me over. But i didn't want to anyways you know.
I don't know I guess I really just don't know anymore. And i care but i don't.erg this whole situation is really stupid. weeeee

Not much new

Today is tuesday, yesturday was halloween and today was so borring. I rented star wars and then went to work to visit good old mike.

Now I'm typing in my blog.

Last year I was in a bubble. I really just realized it. I didn't allow myself to meet new friends and I kept myself talking to the same old people. I'm really happy this year. Things have changed and in a way it's strange but it's making me talk to different people... well i mean not MAKING me, but more allowing me to talk to other people. I'm not saying anyone stopped me, but the way things are right now is making me reach out.

I used to think of drinking bad, GRRRRRRR... but i don't mind drunk people. they're actually really funny and I enjoy hanging out with them. I also really like the people i work with. They're amazing. I don't know things are just really different and They're making me feel like i don't need the things i was involved in last year. I mean i love my friends and I always will. And i'm not saying i don't want to hang out with them, my God please dont think thats what I'm saying. I'm just saying, well i don't really know what I'm saying. well i guess, you know how i typed before that I had given up on certain things? yes? no? well i don't really feel like I need those " things" I don't know maybe ive been extremely warped I don't know. weee this is fun! I don't know what to think!