roll eyes

yes tonight was selah. I did powerpoint, i don't even know why i'm still doing it but i am. Once again erin came and talked to my in a giant awkward conversation. that was fun. who knows what's going on there, whatever. either one 1) she thinks I'm depressed or 2) becky seems to think that erin thinks I'm mad at her? It's not like It alked to her i nthe first place? why make things awkward now?
Josh gave this big speil about serving and all i could do was try to tune him out. Talking about not just erving people financially and all that jazz but by talking to people and helping them through stuff, but where was his reply when i emailed him? hmm wasn't " i've given up on God" one last try at getting help for my relationship with God? how much clearer can I get, and yet no reply. "The person I baptised don't have a relationship with God anymore eeeyuck I'm not gonna do anything about it or talk to her, or even respond." YAY!!!!!
as for my church friends I really don't understand it. I'm getting really frustrated. Caitlin said she wished I was around more that night when I called her at the wachals like I am the reason our friendship isn't the way it was, like her coming to eat lunch with me once every 2 weeks is going to make it better Bullshit. and talking to other people is just non existant. Is it me? I don't know. I don't feel the same around them anymore? Is it because they're all gung hoe, keener Christians? Who knows. I don't know what to think anymore