let it all out

Let it all out
get it all out
rip it out remove it
don't be alarmed
when the wound begins to bleed
cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need
and today I will trust you with confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

and I'll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength
and you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
and I'll try my best to just forget
that that man isn't me
reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for youand I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light

ilike cried when i listened to that song, it's so sad, oy.
Anyways tonight i worked and all i wanted to do he whole time wascry. All i could like about was how much of a let downthe retreat was and how it didn't fix anything and how i'm still completely far away from God. It makes me feel so horrible. I wish i could have prayed with someone but i didn't, and now i just keep thinking about how like empty i feel. I've never felt like this before... sure i've felt sad but never so empty.
I worked tonight and all i could think about was this. And it just made me want to cry the entire time. my work friends are great to talk to for that. They listened and told me they understand. It's kinda cool to have more than the usual people to tlak to ( not that there's anything wrong with the usuals... it's just sometimes it's good to have that extra opinion, you know) they sympathized... and now i still just want to be happy and figure that stuff out,i just guess i can't expect for it to be fixed in one weekend, or maybe i shouldn't expect it to be worked out at all, i just have to try and see what happens. oh well i'm really just kinda blabbering now. I'm out